Wiser? Who me?

So, one day into my brand New Year, I cast my mind back to February 2010, posting on my Facebook wall a day after my birthday, that I did not feel any different. I had not sprouted horns, still looked like the same old "kaka headed" me every time I took a peek. I still felt like me, nothing seemed to have changed.

Usually, my reflections and introspection come after my birthday because for me, that is when my calendar rolls around to a fresh start. It feels a bit awkward for me making resolutions in January, maybe it is just me being my usual quirky self, but soon as I have had my birthday, I feel that subconscious shifting of gears. Still the same old me, but taking a peek back at the old year, its trials, my successes, failures and near misses, what could I have done better, regrets (hardly any) and look ahead to plan MY New year better.

Turning over the page this morning, staring at myself in the mirror and having a little one on one discussion with myself, these are the points I would love to highlight as I travel down life's winding paths:

1. Never apologize for who you are: I am me. There can be only one me in the entire universe. Love me or loathe me, I am uniquely and wonderfully made. Anybody taller than me is too tall, anybody shorter than me is too short, if you are fatter than I am, you are too fat and if you are slimmer than me, you are too slim. I am the best me this universe can ever have and I stride tall because I know I am irreplaceable. God broke the mold when He made me and I am confident that He knew what He was about. My boast is in God alone and I trust that His perfect will for me will come to pass.

2. Never apologize for who you love: Love is the sweetest thing. Sometimes it creeps up on you while at other times, it rushes against you, pushes you down and sits in your face. Whichever it is, we cannot all love the same types. You might like them quiet and clean shaven, I might like them bold and hairy. If I don't knock your taste, don't knock mine. The principal thing is for your life to be filled with laughter and your heart lifted with love. No two people can replicate the same feelings in you and when you find the right person, love with all you have got.Love your family, they are a God given automatic support system. Love your kids, they will stand by you through it all. Keep in touch with your friends and learn to read between the lines, use the word "friends" sparingly and only bestow that when it has been justifiably earned.

3. Live your life with no regrets: Let every experience be a learning curve for you and learn never to regret the outcomes of any decisions you make. Consequences, whether positive or negative, are a grim part of life, as inevitable as life itself, but once the decision has been taken (by you no less), live with the consequences of your decision. Regrets are like a spoilt brat. They can be seen, felt and heard at the most inappropriate of times and in the most inappropriate of moments. Owning the consequences of your actions enable you obtain closure and take a decision to either move on, looking back only to pick out the learning points, or live with the consequences of your decision.

4. Perception is NOT reality: Never has been, never will be. If you are narrow minded enough to think of me in a particular way or herd me into a particular group because of your perceptions, then you need to expand your mind. Nothing limits growth more than being forced to act or think a certain way because society expects that from you. Explore whatever lies within you and give the world a different standard to judge people by. Explore your inherent potentials to the fullest, you are what you are and allowing what others think of you influence your decisions and actions is the fastest way to the doldrums!

5. You are never alone: No one ever walks "a road less traveled". However chequered you feel your life and experiences are, research and you will discover quite a number of people who have been down that same road as you. Therefore, you do not always have to be the strongest person in the situation, the one who can hold it all together for everyone, the one whom everyone wants to lean on. Once in a while, you do the leaning on, find a shoulder to cry on, unburden yourself, share and talk. It helps to keep you same when you realise and appreciate the fact that there is always an efficient support system, who will listen without judging, comfort without interfering and soothe without prying. You can never do it alone, so reach out and grab those arms and pour your soul out. You might be surprised to see they have been eagerly waiting for you all the while.

6. Finally, learn to recognize when it is old and move on: Some aspects of your past are best left in the past. If someone always made you feel wrong about yourself, meeting up after ten years and you are still left feeling less than a 100%, then that relationship should be left in the archives where it rightly belongs. Do not force friendships and connections. Definitely, do not go digging into your past with the intention of digging up old skeletons and resurrecting dead demons. By all means, everything deserves your best shot and always strive to get your best shot in but if it gets old and doesn't feel right, then let go and move on. Wisdom is... the principal thing


Thanks for everyone who was there with me in 2012 and utpill February 20th 2013. This is a brand new year for us, let us do it again in 2013.

P.S: Hope you like the picture. My daughter declared yesterday that I looked 18 and I could not resist putting up the picture.

P.P.S: How old am I? Well, *blushing*, *fluttering eyelashes*, 18!