A young man, straight from school into the work force, gets a very good job with a reputable oil firm/bank/NGO/school, heck anything, just a good job. Is doing really well for himself and others, has a good relationship with his girlfriend whom he eventually marries. Two years down the line, he begins to experience challenges, maybe life challenges maybe work related, loses his job and goes through the usual adjustment processes. The wife runs from pillar to post seeking spiritual (and sometimes physical) solution to the man's envisaged problems. Goes to a church where she is informed the husband has a "spirit wife" that is offended with the marriage and hell bent on dealing with him for marrying her.
A young lady, slowly approaching her late forties, holds down a good job, lives real well, contributes to her church, community and society, can afford to take trips abroad for holiday and leisure. No marital prospects on the horizon, maybe having been battered emotionally and psychologically, has also taken the decision to stay away from relationships and live her life the way she wants to live it. If marriage comes, fine and if it doesn't come okay! Her concerned mother, runs helter skelter, seeking a "solution" to her daughter's marital "problems". In seeking that solution, she chances upon a prophet or MOG who calmly informs her that her daughter is married in the marine world "Spirit husband". And his presence in her life will not permit any other man to step in.
A couple, married for over 10 years, both hold down good jobs (or maybe they don't, that is entirely besides the point here), good members of their society, churches and community. Openly loving and generous couple, besotted with each other and outpouring towards society at large. Their challenge - no children yet. They have tried every position known to man, even taken advice from dubious sources, all in a bid to try to have just one child. They have resorted to dry charges (no food, no water fasting for short bursts of three days at a stretch), all to no avail. Eventually, during a church crusade, they are informed that either (or both) of them have spouses in the spirit world (and perhaps children), and need deliverance from these ties in order to progress.
A married man has a near escape from a fatal road accident - Either his wife or him have a spirit spouse who is after their lives
A couple have one child who is hell bent on sending his parents to an early grave - The spirit children are annoyed that in spite of their best efforts at keeping the couple apart, they still got together and had children.
The instances are endless and could go on and on and on..
Worried, especially as I recently had the dubious honor of mediating in a case where the wife was told her husband's "spirit wife" was to blame for all the incidents he had recently passed through, to the extent that the "spirit spouse" was now attacking the innocent woman, trying to ensure she made little or no progress in life for as long as she remained married to her husband, I decided to carry out a bit of sleuthing. (My thoughts and opinions on this particular case comes at the end).
From my searches, this "Spirit Spouse" phenomenon seems to be a largely West African thing, with one or two particular churches latching on to it and declaring every issue a spirit spouse thing. Other upcoming pastors and prophets, seeing how it has worked out well for their forbears, proceed to proliferate and spread the gospel according to spirit husbands and wives. Spirit spouses were birthed in ancient Latin mythology and have slowly spread their tentacles to other parts of the world, but in no other space have they received widespread acceptance than in West Africa, especially our very own Naija.
Someone comes to a Pastor for prayers and deliverance. You are hard pressed to admit that you cannot decipher the root cause of this problem and rather than advice the young couple to continue to wait on God's time, you proceed to dash one or the other of them a "Spirit Spouse". Easy short cut to the resolution of the spiritual problem.
What happened to waiting on God and God's time? I took my time to go through the bible and no where was "Spirit Husband" or "Spirit Wife" mentioned in connection to any of the misfortunes that fell upon the great men in the bible. I believe that as Christians, whether practicing or professing, our standard should be the bible.
Job - Big man, houses, lands, cars, goods on the high seas, children wif swagga, it was reported he lost them all in one day! So, I am convinced, if Job's wife - that restless woman- had gone to a Nigerian prophet, she would have been asked to bring her husband down for deliverance from Spirit Spouse. Job on the other hand, knew that he was being tried and tempted, after all the bible does admonish us to count it all joy when we are faced with diverse temptations as it is the trial of our faith that worketh patience (James 1:3). He waited on God and for God's time and his end was more glorious than the beginning.
Would that a lot of these pastors, when they see desperate young men seeking an instant solution to life's problems would just advice them to wait on God. Wait! How come we no longer want to wait, both physically and spiritually? We want everything to come to us and at our own times, why? Who even deceives people into believing that life is a smooth journey - I can assure you that even the Dangotes and Otedolas of the world have some pressing or burning issue that can be wished away on a "Spirit spouse".
Abraham and Sarah, they waited to have Isaac. They waited beyond what any human being living or dead would consider realistic. They waited until their due time for visitation and then, they were blessed with the child as promised of God and indeed Abraham became the father of all nations as promised. Nowhere did the bible mention deliverance from a spirit husband or wife before the child came.
Mary Magdalene - no spirit husband
Peter (of "I go a fishing" fame, sword carrying disciple, "I no know this Jesus o") - no spirit wife
Samson - No spirit wife (even though he landed the prize with Delilah - go figure)
Ruth - No Spirit husband
Jonah - No Spirit wife
Joseph - No spirit wife
Racheal - No spirit husband
And on, and on, and on. In fact in the entire bible, there was no spirit spouse mentioned as the root cause of anybody's life challenges. Point of fact, there were demons, confirmed! And they were speedily dispatched. But no where was someone advised to go for deliverance from spirit husband. When I took this up with a prophet and asked him to show me proof in the bible that spirit spouses are the root cause of problems encountered by individuals, he took me to Mathew 13:25 - But while men slept, his enemies came and sowed wheat among the tares and went away.
Please, can someone with a better understanding explain to me how this relates to Spirit Spouse? He said to me that this was a parable only for the "discerning", and I took him through the bible where every parable was properly explained and in fact in most instances, linked directly to the situation they referred to! Well, I had my own bible reference for the Pastor - 2 Peter 2: 1-3.
Overall, I really think we need to learn to be discerning. People encounter life situations and when you go through a "wilderness experience", learn to wait. Wait and listen to the still small voice. Stop running from pillar to post. Wait for God and He will speak to every situation in your life and at THE APPOINTED TIME, things will work right and your lines will begin to fall into pleasant places.
Now, back to the issue of the young man with "the spirit wife". His flesh wife (abi wetin you go call this one again), was visibly agitated. She wanted no part of this spirit wife especially since she was told that the next target could be her life! She in fact, needed to quickly disassociate herself with the man as she had also started experiencing "difficulties in her business". I had a good laugh on her account, free of charge and told her one thing.
It was obvious to me that there was never any love involved in the marriage, especially on her part, in the first instance. She had just been stringing this man along and was there for the ride. Now when things were no longer as rosy as they used to be, she was conveniently taking the easy way out - blame it on the spirit spouse and bail for your life. I advised her and I strongly believe in this advise, to stand by her man! What he needs during this period of challenge in his life is someone who would empathise, comfort, understand and support. Of course her business will experience difficulties because where before, it was just used to support Madam's fashion leanings and cravings, now it was supporting the entire household (school fees, feeding, house rent, etc).
Like I told her, she could make good use of this opportunity to flee to greener pastures, no guarantee that those pastures would remain evergreen and guess what would happen when her new love begins to experience a set back, *no brainer alert*, well, she would be accused of having a spirit husband since every man she latches herself onto experiences setbacks. How then would she feel?
On the other hand, if the man finds a woman that supports him during the difficulties, stands by him and together nurtures him back to growth, the rat that abandoned the sinking ship would definitely surface sometime in the future and start attempting to claim her place back as the "First and rightful wife".
Please Nigerians, be wise and grow a brain!
